


strongest taste, loudest drop

by xLovelyLittleRaindropx



Category: Homestuck
Genre: And in passing there is, Eating Disorders, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Just a mention of it tho, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Misgendering, Suicidal Thoughts, Transphobia, maybe also, oh and its
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-10-07 02:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10350114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLovelyLittleRaindropx/pseuds/xLovelyLittleRaindropx
Summary: in which a young, 14-year-old rose spends some time in a mental hospital in fear for her safety and meets some of the most interesting people she has ever known.





	1. head is filled

**Author's Note:**

> my mother has been telling me to write & they all say to write what you know
> 
> i spent a short amount of time in a mental hospital as a young girl
> 
> this is my story, masked behind homestuck characters
> 
> this is all true, save for a few name changes

Your name is Rose Lalonde and you are starting to regret the decision you made two previous nights ago. The decision you made in your therapist’s office, crying on the couch as she nodded and hummed, the sounds of you begging, pleading that, “I don’t plan to hurt myself, but I’m scared I won’t be able to stop myself if I do.” It was only one of three sessions that your mother has ever had to join in towards the end so your therapist could explain how you felt since children’s feelings only really seem to matter to your mother when another adult is relaying them back.

 

Your mother had this remorseful look on her face; the one that some would reserve for using when looking at a homeless puppy. You wanted to laugh, and maybe, if you hadn’t still have been crying, you might have. Your mother sure could put on quite the show. You distinctly remembered the night before that appointment where your mother scolded you for weeping and having a panic attack. That if you kept it up, you’d be checked into Water Vale, the nearest mental hospital in your state. 

 

Funnily enough, you ended there anyway after imploring for your therapist to place you there. You remained convinced, as you stand before the seven foot tall chain link fence surrounding the building and still sobbing, that you will be the only patient who is there voluntarily that week. The doctor had asked for you to be there at seven. You were there right on time. 

 

Your mom has her arm around your shoulders, guiding you and wrapped around tight, as if you’ll change your mind and race back to the car. You could feel your stomach drop down as you approached the entrance, the only door in the facility that was really ever “open.” You were greeted by bright fluorescent lighting and the smell of a hospital trying to pretend to be a home.

 

The waiting room was empty. Seemingly, no one was beating down the doors to get in. 

 

There was a nurse’s station roughly three feet from the door, covered by glass, with a small pocket of unclosed space at the bottom to slip paperwork back and forth through. A nurse sat there, smiling at you both. Your mother approached the station, speaking with her about checking you in. You couldn’t hear much; it was as if you were underwater and your body was floating whilst everyone else was on the shore. The words were white noise, if anything. 

 

Eventually, a nurse comes through a door towards the back of the waiting room, her entrance announced from the buzz of her ID unlocking it. She leads you and your mother down a long, grey hallway and into a small room. It looks like a room where someone would have a meeting, but also like a doctor’s office. It’s confusing to you, but you just go through the motions of a standard check-up with no questions. Your eyes are still red and puffy and you’re still sniffling when she starts to ask you a few questions about how you’ve been doing. She doesn’t ask you too many; those are for the actual doctors.

 

Your actual doctor turns out to be a man on a Skype call brought into the room on an old Dell laptop. Apparently, their main doctor was out at a conference and this was his only way to speak to new patients. It’s embarrassing to have to answer his questions in front of your mother. You have to admit all your suicidal thoughts and your acts of self-harm, and you just can’t bear to look at your mother’s face. If your mother is shocked, she doesn’t show it, which makes you wonder if she really knew how bad you were feeling.

 

You recall so many moments telling her that you were sad. So sad that you couldn’t focus in school, couldn’t wake up, couldn’t go out. You also recall her yelling at you. Telling you how ungrateful you were, that there was a roof over your head and clothes on your back. You remember the times you would cry yourself to sleep. You also remember her asking you why you were doing so and the anger she expressed when you said that you didn’t know why.

 

Something you had learned was that your mother was excellent at speaking and atrocious at listening. 

 

Once the doctor was done assessing you, the nurse gently told you that you’d be alone with her from this point on. You looked at your mother; her eyes were slightly rimmed red, as if she was trying not to cry. You looked and looked at her and even though you were angry for all the times she ignored what was happening, you knew that you would miss her. You’d miss her curls and her sweet perfume and the sight of her putting her lipstick on in the car. You stood up with her, squeezing her tight around the waist.

 

“It’s only for a little bit.” She whispered. “You’ll be okay.” 

 

You clutched onto her tighter, as if she’d slip through your fingers and float away like a helium balloon. After a minute or so of just holding on, the nurse cleared her throat softly. A symbol that it was time to go. You pulled away, tears streaming down your cheeks and a lump the size of the moon in your throat. 

 

“I love you.” Your mother said, kissing your forehead. 

 

“Can I keep your jacket while I’m here?” You whispered, voice cracking. 

 

“Yes.” She said with a small smile. She took it off and placed it around your shoulders. 

 

It was too big for your small frame, but you could feel yourself shrouded in her scent. You wondered exactly how long it would last whilst being here. The nurse lead you both out to the hallway. You watched as your mother turned back around, exiting the same way you came in. She blew you a kiss as the second nurse by the door swiped her ID to let her out. 

 

You felt your nurse nudge your shoulders, urging you to follow her the opposite direction. You felt like an astronaut being launched into space, watching your mother wave from the surface of the Earth. 

 

“Welcome to Water Vale.” The nurse said, smiling down at you. She swiped her ID across another door, making the locks click. The door lead outside and you squinted past her and the fence to see if you could spot your mother going to your car.

 

You couldn’t. 

 

You sighed shakily as the nurse swiped her ID across another door. You entered into another waiting room this time. Except, it was dim and warmly lit and the chairs were dust stained and packed together closely. There was another nurse’s station, but this nurse didn’t have a smile. She sat with her back to the door, gossiping with the others. The nurse leading you simply gave her a small hello and walked towards another door. 

 

Swipe. Click.

 

“This is the ward for adolescents,” She informed you. You entered into a three-way intersection of halls. She pointed to the right. “Past those doors are the young boys. Not that you’ll ever be down there.” She giggled quietly, almost a scoff. “Those are the quiet rooms.” She said, pointing straight ahead. It was two rooms, open with arches instead of doors. They were mostly dark, minus some slight sunlight coming from a small window, and you could spot a plastic nap mat lying on the floor. “And this is the young girl’s ward.” She said, leading you down the left.

 

You looked at the open rooms as you passed by them. You first room you spotted were brightly colored with ABC posters, toy buckets, and small chairs. “ _ Pre-schooler’s common area,” _ your mind guessed. The next three rooms you passed had mostly closed doors, but you could spot beds and dressers.  _ “Bedrooms.”  _ Then, a large open room with a mounted T.V. and a few couches and loveseats.  _ “Your common area.” _

 

“That’s the common area where you’ll spend most time.” The nurse supplied, practically reading your mind. There was another nurse, sitting in a chair at the end of the hall, magazine in hand. They waved hello to each other as the nurse lead you into a small walk-in closet of a room. There were some metal, roll-around shelves with plastic containers stacked onto them. She handed you a blue one with a piece of masking tape brandishing your name across it. 

 

“Alright, put all your stuff that isn’t clothing in here!” She said with a smile.

 

You nodded once, not wanting to argue. Less arguing meant less time. It already felt like you had been there too long. You stacked your hair brush, shampoo, and other toiletries into the bucket as fast as possible. The faster the better. She took the container and placed it next to the rest amongst the shelves. She then turned around, brandishing a white trash bag. 

 

“And all clothes in here!” She said, handing it to you. You froze that time. You had bags of your own already. Why did you have to give them up?

 

You didn’t bother actually asking out loud and instead just placed clothes after clothes into the bag. She took the small backpacks you were using, took out the books you had brought along with you, and handed them to you. The backpack's got masking tape labels of their own and were tossed into a small bin with other forms of luggage that presumably belonged to the other girls. 

 

She looked you over and pointed at your torso. You looked at her in slight confusion. What now? 

 

“The string from your hoodie.” 

 

Oh. You swallowed as you tugged the yellow string from around the hood and handed it to her. She smiled, but you immediately felt uncomfortable from the lack of ability to adjust the hood. Even though it was just procedure, It seemed dumb to you. You wouldn’t even have the mental capacity to figure out how to hang yourself with a foot long piece of string anyway. 

 

“Alright, we’re good to go! Let’s go see your room.”

  
You did indeed regret the decision you made two previous nights ago.


	2. together but alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rose meets her roommate and feels homesick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know these chapters are excruciatingly short but i'm tired of having the pressure of having to write a long chapter
> 
> i'd rather write something short that i like than something long that is half filler
> 
> bear with me

  
You realized that there was only six rooms in the entire hall and you felt like that was a bit too little for a ward. Your room was along the wall across from the common areas. It was the last door, right beside the nurse’s station and door to the waiting room. Your door was one of the only ones that was fully open.

“It’s Quiet Time right now,” The nurse informed you. “Which is just an hour for you. You can nap, rest, or read. You have to stay in your room, though.”

You nodded, almost robotically. You suddenly felt like a child, being subjected to a naptime once again. You were always bad at that as a kid. You’d lay down on the cold floor of the kindergarten classroom with eyes wide open and telling yourself stories while the other children were napping away.

“Here we are!” She said, standing in the doorway and pushing you in gently, like a mother bird teaching a baby how to leave the nest and fly.

The room was a sickly nude pink with a muted teal trimming along the bottom. Against the wall was a small wooden desk with no chair. There were two dressers shoved directly on either side of it. One for you, one for your roommate. There was a tall, thin door at the left corner in the back of the room and a congruent window at the right corner. It looked as if it was glued shut.

“Feferi, this is your new roommate, Rose. It’s her first day here.”

The girl on one of the two beds, Feferi, looked up from her book and smiled a bright smile. She waved to you and you waved back, giving her a small smile of your own. You felt embarrassed that she could probably tell you had been crying.

There were a few pieces of paper taped above her bed; hand-painted doodles of flowers and her name adorned across lined notebook paper. She was tall, plump, and dark-skinned, with her curly hair tied up in a messy bun. She had small patches of acne across her cheeks and a pair of round, fuchsia glasses sliding down her nose.

“Will you help Rose out today?”

“Of course!”

The nurse smiled at you both and left you there with a small, encouraging pat on your shoulder. You stared at Feferi, who had gone back to reading her book, for a few minutes before walking into the room a bit more. You placed your trash bag of clothes on the unused desk. You didn’t want to place them in the drawers. It felt foreign and wrong; too permanent.

Your bed had a wooden frame to match the other pieces of furniture, but felt more like a cot. The mattress and pillow were plastic and made strange sounds when you lifted your body onto them. The thin excuse for a comforter spread upon the bed was scratchy to the touch.The bed frame was one with a slide-out drawer to place things inside. You had always wanted one of those as a child, but your mother always said no.

It felt wrong having it now.

You sighed and looked over at Feferi again. “What, um. What are you reading?” You asked quietly, having to clear your throat midway.

“Oh.” Feferi said, as if you had surprised her. She closed the book, keeping one hand inside to keep her place. “It’s Sailor Moon.” She answered, showing you the cover.

“I have a friend who loves Sailor Moon.” You said, a bit too fast. “I’ve seen a few episodes of the show. Have you ever...seen it?”

Feferi’s gave you a sad smile and shook her head. You nodded and bit at your lip. You couldn’t think of how to make conversation anymore, so you stayed quiet. You rubbed your knuckles against the bed sheet. Feferi went back to reading.

You wondered how much longer Quiet Time would last.

You opened up your own book and tried to read, but you just couldn’t focus. After a minute or two of running your eyes across the same paragraph, you closed it with a sigh. Your eyes were burning from unshed tears; your rubbed your fists across them as subtly as possible. You turned your gaze towards the window and sighed. You were never one for being outdoors, but now you were aching to run around in the grass and feel the breeze on your skin.

The small sound of paper hitting the carpeted floor caught your attention. You turned back around and stared out at the hallway, spotting a crumpled piece of paper in the middle of it. You could hear giggles and saw a hand quickly grab it. A few seconds passed and another was tossed, from the opposite direction this time. More giggles.

“Girls,” a nurse’s voice, one you didn’t recognize, scolded. “Stop throwing papers across the hall. It’s Quiet Time. No talking.”

“We’re bored!” A disembodied voice called out amongst the laughter.

“You can last ten more minutes.”

Another paper was launched out to the hall. You smiled a bit as you heard more laughter. You could hear the nurse trying to calm them, but failing.

“Shut the fuck up!” Another girl yelled out, slamming a door closed. You jumped a bit as the girls continued to laugh, small “oohs” thrown in amongst the snickering.

“Meenah, language.” The nurse scolded. “Girls, quiet.”

They listened this time around.

You bit the inside of your cheek; you wouldn’t lie. The sudden outburst from “Meenah” was frightening. You wondered what she would be like.

What if you didn’t fit in? You pressed your nails into your palm, leaving moon-shaped imprints. If you listened hard enough, you could hear the sounds of girls still talking next door. You already felt as if you didn’t belong here. You didn’t belong anywhere. But, at least you could fake it at home.

You laid on your side, looking out the blind-covered window at the slotted view of outside. You could feel hot tears being squeezed out of the corner of your eyes when you shut them. When you opened them, your vision was kaleidoscopic. You blinked rapidly, trying to release all the moisture. You shifted onto your back, wincing at the sound of shifting plastic.

You spent the entire ten minutes staring up at the popcorn ceiling and letting the homesickness seep into your bones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my roommate at the hospital was a real peach & i hope she's okay now


	3. a place for us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rose meets a beautiful girl, a hyper girl, a boy, and Meenah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if it ever sounds like the nurses are assholes in this, that's because they are
> 
> tw for unintentional misgendering

The last ten minutes of Quiet Time were some of the longest you had ever experienced. Fun makes time go faster and lying in bed, unmoving, while listening to girls laughing softly and Feferi turning the pages of her book was not enough to have time racing by. But, eventually, you heard a nurse stopping at doors to tell girls that Quiet Time was over. When she stopped at your door, you recognized her as the one who had been in the chair at the end of the hall. 

 

You watched Feferi fold the corner of her current page down and shut her book, placing it in her own roll-out drawer. You cringed slightly; you weren’t one to fold your book corners. She didn’t notice your expression when she looked up and smiled at you. 

 

“Come on,” she said softly. You nodded and followed her out. 

 

The hall was starting to flood with all sorts of girls and you felt a slight sense of anxiety bubbling in your stomach. Two girls in particular were laughing and shoving at each other; you recognized their giggles as the one’s you had heard earlier. As you looked at the people passing you by, you wondered which one was Meenah.

 

Everyone was filtering into the common room you had noticed earlier. Upon further inspection, you could see a small case of movies next to some board games in the corner. Along the wall was a whiteboard with a chart donned with names and numbers, but you only recognized Feferi’s name. Underneath the chart was a section labeled “Daily Goals” and sentences written in different handwriting. Across from all that was a small, kitchen-like area with a table, sink, cupboards, and a fridge. There was a large door in the far right corner. 

 

You learn very quickly that some girls always sit at the table and some always sit on the couches and some always sit on the floor. Feferi is a girl who sits on the couches, so you are also a girl who sits on the couches. You sit at the one that faces the door, watching everyone as subtly as you can to see if you can magically find out which one is Meenah.

 

You watched as one girl makes her way over to you and all of a sudden your mind is dizzy at the thought of making conversation. She is tall, with clear, brown skin and dark hair that was chopped into a stylish pixie cut. Her eyes are sharp and the color of a Jade stone. When she reaches you, she turns to Feferi instead. 

 

“Hello,” She says, voice smooth and mesmerizing like golden honey being poured into a mason jar. 

 

“Hi, Kanaya! This is Rose. She’s my new roommate.”

 

You wave to Kanaya when she turns to you. She gives you a closed lip smile and sits between you and Feferi. She angles her body towards you and holds out her hand; she makes the air smell of jasmine and green apples when she turns. You take her soft, manicured hand in your own and shake it twice. 

 

“It’s nice to meet you, Rose.” You want to share the sentiment, but your tongue is like lead in your mouth.

 

Your head is spinning from how beautiful one person can be. 

 

You’re broken out of your trance when another girl jumps–yes, literally jumps–onto the couch in the empty spot beside Feferi. Her hair is large, long, and half pinned-up in all it’s wavy, tangled glory. She is wearing a pair of big, round glasses that demand all attention to her face. She is talking fast and only stops when she notices you sitting at the end. 

 

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry I didn’t say hello! You must be new here. I’m Jade!” She talks fast, like she doesn’t stop to breathe. Her voice is high and reminds you of shows you used to watch as a toddler. 

 

“I’m Rose.” 

 

“That’s such a pretty name!” Your cheeks went a bit red at the compliment, not sure how to respond. You thank her and Jade continues to talk to Feferi about something you can’t comprehend at the speed she’s going.

 

You’re still on the lookout for Meenah so you turn your attention back to the door. Another girl enter the room. You assume she might’ve been the only one of you to have been actually napping during Quiet Time because her eyes are squinted and her boy-cut, curly hair is a mess. Her body is thin and covered in a hoodie so big it could be a dress. Jade turns when she sees her from the corner of her eye. 

 

“Hi, Dave!” 

 

**Oh.**

 

Dave holds up a hand in a lazy wave and walks right by your small group. He takes a seat by himself, near the window, and stares outside. He reaches into his large hoodie pocket and drags out a red marker and a brown composition book. He doesn’t ask you for your name or who you are. You decide not to ask him anything back.

 

Kanaya catches you staring and taps your hand. You jump a bit and look back to her. 

 

“Have you gotten a journal yet?”

 

“No,” You say, shaking your head. 

 

When you answer her, Kanaya stands up and makes her way over to a small desk in one of the corners where a nurse sat, watching over everyone. You watch her dumbly and only follow when she finally waves her hand in a motion for you to come over. Kanaya clears her throat softly, causing the nurse to look up from her phone. 

 

“Rose is new and no one’s given her a journal.” 

 

“Really?” The nurse asks, looking at you as if you might be lying. You nod once, so quick you barely felt yourself doing it. She makes a small humming noise and reaches into a bin beside the desk and hands you a composition book identical to Dave’s.

 

When you open your mouth to thank her, a loud, repetitive banging sound begins to sound from behind the shut door across the hall. The nurse makes a face and sighs angrily. She got up and made her way across the hall, opening the door swiftly.

 

“Meenah. You’re awake.” She said, almost accusingly.

 

“No.” Though you couldn’t see her, you could picture her smirk in your mind. 

 

“Stop banging against the wall. I said I’d let you sleep, but you’re awake. So, come on. Out.”

 

“I am asleep.” Meenah answered, sharper this time to match the nurse’s tone.

 

“Either you come into the commons or you go to a Quiet Room. Which will it be?” The nurse crosses her arms this time. There is a small sound of shuffling in the room and then, she emerges. 

 

Meenah is a foot shorter than the nurse and has two long, thin braids that reached her waist. She has a blanket in one hand and a doll matching her appearance to the very last detail in the other. She’s smirking, just like you thought she’d be.

 

“Let’s go.” She says, leaning towards the nurse, then making her way down the hall.

 

The nurse sighs heavily before closing the door and following after her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i couldn't resist some good old fashioned rosemary bc I Am Gay but know that it will never come to fruition so sorry abt that


	4. an ink squirt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rose thinks about who the two remaining girls might be, feels bad for dave, and doesn't eat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back  
> back again
> 
> tw for casual misgendering & possible transphobia (also maybe some vague disordered eating habits)

The next half hour was spent doodling in your journal. You were usually a writer–you had pages upon pages of stories written back home–but you hadn’t been in much of a mood for writing for the past month or so. You had read that depression does that to you. Makes you lose interest in things you used to enjoy. 

 

The closest you got to writing anything was simple statements that were just facts. Things you had noticed about the hospital so far, about the people there. You had to write with a purple marker since pens were a thing you had to ask for and the nurse seemed to have been far too inconvenienced with Meenah.

 

You still hadn’t gotten the chance to speak with Dave or the two girls who had been giggling together earlier. However, they all seemed to keep to themselves and talk to no one. Dave barely even looked at anyone. 

 

He interested you. Something about how closed in he was made you want to ask him all sorts of things. You assumed that he was only in the Girl’s Ward since at the end of the day, he still had female genitalia, which you thought was kind of unfair. You don’t think Dave liked being in the Girl’s Ward.

 

The two girls were girls who sat on the floor. They were pressed to each other’s side, as if attached at the hip. There were markers, pieces of colored chalk, and construction paper spread out before them. 

 

One girl was small and tan, her chubby fingers wrapped around a piece of chalk and scribbling on a piece of black construction paper. Her hair was auburn and cut at the shoulders, the ends choppy as if she had done it herself. The other girl had long legs and pale skin. Her blonde hair was so long that it was practically sweeping the floor. Her nails were colored in messily with black pen and the ink was smudged along her fingers. 

 

Every so often, the two would cackle loudly at something they whispered to each other. At one point, you noticed Dave narrow his eyes and shoot them a nasty look. His face relaxed when he caught you looking at him and he dug himself farther into his seat. 

 

Jade and Feferi had migrated over to the small table in the Kitchen Corner, as you had deemed it, after a few minutes to sit beside a younger girl. She’d been unintentionally introduced to you as Nepeta by the nurse who scolded her for digging around in the fridge. 

 

“Dinner’s soon,” the nurse had said.

“I’m hungry now.” Nepeta had whined in response, shoving a small tangerine in between her teeth, as if she didn’t have hands.

 

The three of them were now playing an odd version of tic-tac-toe using colored pencils and tangerine peel. Every so often, Nepeta would slam her hands down on the table in an excited gesture after winning, and the nurse would reprimand her. 

 

Eventually, Meenah was brought into the common room, blanket being held by a nurse escort and doll still clutched in her own hand. You tensed a bit. You were kind of intimidated by her at this point and you you were pretty scared of how she’d welcome, or not, a new girl. But, Meenah stayed at the doorway, checking her nails. Her escort held out her hand, opening and closing it in a giving motion. You saw Meenah roll her eyes before handing over the doll. 

 

“Girls, it’s dinnertime. Come on.” The nurse at the desk announced. 

 

“Wait, can I go to the bathroom first?” Nepeta asked, already racing over to the door in the corner. 

 

“Make it fast.” Desk Nurse sighed out. Blonde, Pen Ink Nails stood up. 

 

“Me too!”

 

Desk Nurse sighed again. “Does anyone else need to go?” She asked, almost annoyed. Feferi and Choppy Haircut stood up and joined in the bathroom line.

 

You, Kanaya, and Jade joined Meenah at the door. You made yourself last in the line, hoping to avoid Meenah’s attention. Kanaya smiled at you and stepped more directly in front of you, as if she knew what you were trying to do. Dave sat in his seat, still staring out the window. 

 

“Dave,” Desk Nurse began, crossing her arms across her chest. “I told you it’s dinnertime. Let’s go.” Dave looked at her; you couldn’t tell if he was glaring or if his face just looked like that. 

 

_ “No,” _ a Pseudo-Dave voice said in your mind,  _ “You said, “ _ **_girls,_ ** _ it’s dinnertime. You weren’t talking to me at all.”  _ He got up slowly, almost spitefully, and walked behind you.

 

Once everyone was done with the bathroom and in a nice, neat line, Desk Nurse moved to the front of it, guiding you all out the door and into the hall. You all walked until you came upon an unfamiliar door, Desk Nurse opening it (swipe, click). It lead outside; a new part of the hospital property that you hadn’t seen yet. You walked and walked, passing by a few buildings and a swimming pool. The swimming pool looked like the ones at hotels; gated and only able to access if you Swipe, Clicked. 

 

You found that very strange for some reason.

Right across from the pool was a small building with windows all around. Looking inside, you could see tables, a cafeteria line, and a few scattered people. It felt like a school lunch. Just like in Kindergarten when the teacher would walk the class to the cafeteria and help them line up. Except that felt nice and safe; this was more like being treated like a prisoner and being lugged around like a box of heavy bricks. 

 

You had never really stayed at a hospital setting long enough to actually eat the food there. You wish it could’ve stayed like that. The food was flavorless and too chewy or too stiff. You picked and prodded at your food; when you were younger, your mother’s friends would always tease you for that. 

 

_ “She eats like a bird,” _ One would giggle.

 

_ “She’s picky. Can’t she just behave? Eat normally?” _ Another would say, a bit harsher. 

 

Your mother always sighed and nodded in response.

 

The tables had four seats each and you ate with Feferi, Jade, and Nepeta. They laughed and talked casually amongst themselves; Nepeta asked for your bread. You let her have it. You paid more attention to the tables around you than your actual food. 

 

Blonde Ink Nails was sitting with Choppy Haircut, Meenah, and Desk Nurse. They seemed to be annoying Desk Nurse on purpose, but every now and again, Desk Nurse would laugh and tell them to calm down lightheartedly. Dave and Kanaya were sitting at the same table, but made no contact whatsoever. Just them two, eating in silence in the corner of the cafeteria. 

 

Before long, Desk Nurse was standing up and announcing that dinner was over. You looked at the scraps of food you had chopped up and sectioned off instead of eating. You grabbed the tangerine off your tray, stuffing it in your pocket before throwing away your tray as inconspicuously as possible. 

  
You think you might have to get used to eating tangerines. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave comments i Thrive off Attention and Constant Validation


	5. on the inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rose learns what the thirty minute rule is, reflects on her past, and cries some more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for some pretty heavy mentions of eating disorders
> 
> ask me stuff or follow me on tumblr (bpds-strider) i promise i'm Nice

You’re right back in the Commons after dinner, marker pressed to a blank page of your journal, not really doing much else but staying in one place. You still couldn’t think of anything to write. Your mind was fogged and your whole body felt clenched up in anxiety. Your eyes were locked on the wall behind Meenah and Blonde Ink Nails, who were fighting over the small amount of movies in the bin beside the TV. 

 

“We’ve watched that movie twice this week already!” Meenah says, tugging the DVD case out of Blonde’s messy, stained fingers. “I don’t wanna see it again!”

 

“Come on!” Ink Nails says, dragging out the last word to a stretch. “It’s really good!”

 

“Vriska,” Desk Nurse pipes up. “Let someone else choose a movie today.”

 

The girl that you now know is named Vriska glares over at Meenah and stomps off to sit beside Choppy Haircut. You notice that when she sits, Choppy Haircut places her hand over Vriska’s and squeezes it gently. It’s the closest thing you’ve seen to affection since you entered the ward. 

 

“I have to pee.” 

 

It’s Jade speaking now, and you have to readjust your whole existence to process that it’s her voice through your Brain Fog. It’s like your brain suddenly had an antenna attached to it that must be turned every which way to get good reception. 

 

“Thirty minutes, Jade. You know the rules.” Desk Nurse says. She’s filing her nails and rolling her eyes at the exact same time.

 

“I just need to pee.” Jade says, voice harsher. She stomps over to the bathroom door and tugs it open. The yellow light from inside spills into the corner of the room.

 

“Jade. Stop it. Either wait or you have to have me go inside with you.” Desk Nurse sounds like she’s trying to tempt Jade into giving up; she doesn’t seem like the kind of nurse who would voluntarily join someone in the bathroom. Jade doesn’t seem to waver.

 

“Well, then, get up because i have to pee.” She says, shooting the nurse a full smile, already halfway in the bathroom. Desk Nurse sighs, places her nail file down, and walks into the bathroom with Jade ahead of her.

 

“Why do they do that?” You asked quietly, turning to Kanaya, who is sitting beside you and braiding Nepeta’s hair. 

 

“Do what?” She asks.

 

“Make you wait for the bathroom.” You clarified. “They didn’t do that earlier.” Kanaya makes a soft noise and nods.

 

“Oh, they do it after meals. Everyone has to wait thirty minutes before using the bathroom because someone with an eating disorder may see it as an opportunity to purge.” 

 

Oh. You knew that, now that you think about it. When you wanted control in your life, you had almost actively tried to develop an eating disorder. Anorexia Nervosa, but you read up on Bulimia as well. Even tried it too, but your fingers were short and could never reach your gag reflex quite right. It took approximately thirty minutes for food to absorb properly. If you threw up before that time, was the food even there to begin with? 

 

You weren’t very good at being Anorexic, however. You would starve for days and eventually crack. Starve again, binge again. It hurt to not eat and gave you horrible headaches. It was too cold outside to exercise, according to your mother, so you would do it in your room with the door locked. 100 sit-ups, 50 jumping jacks, 10 wall-sits, 30 more sit-ups, 50 more jumping jacks. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

 

All that while running on one granola bar and half an apple. 

 

It didn’t last too long though. It just made you sicker, made you sadder, made you weaker. It wasn’t that hard to fix. You just...started to eat again. So, you don’t often talk about how you were ever close to an eating disorder, because it didn’t feel right. What you did felt like a cheap bastardization of what others go through to you now.

 

But, sometimes you can feel your body is bigger than what others see. Too much fat in too many wrong places. You still crave control and wasn’t that quite a way to get it. You admit that aspect of it all had given you such a rush. Being able to say you made it through the day–barely alive, but what did that matter–on just five crackers and an orange. 

 

What power you possessed from that pride. But, what a mighty fall you took.

 

You hear the toilet flush faintly on the other side of the door and Jade steps out with an accomplished sigh. You smile a bit as she jumps over the back of the couch Dave is sitting at, giving him a heads up. Though he nods in understanding, when she lands, he flinches slightly and curls in on himself for a second or two. Jade whispers a soft apology once Dave stops cowering and he simply waves it off before moving to sit on a chair by himself.

 

He doesn’t jump when the TV starts to make noise, but you do. Meenah must have decided on a movie and popped it in while everything else was happening. You vaguely know what is playing on the screen. It’s an old comedic movie, one where one actor dresses up and plays multiple characters. It’s something that came out when you were young, though, so you’ve never really seen it. 

 

It seems like something your mother would enjoy. 

 

You can hardly hear it over the fog of your brain, but they must be saying very funny things because Meenah cackles loudly at every joke. She even moves her mouth in sync with the words from time to time, knowing the jokes before they happen. She cackles all the same. 

When the nurse announces that thirty minutes have gone by, nearly every one jumps up from their seats to fight over the bathroom. Only you, Jade, and Meenah stay put. You can hear Vriska whining and snapping at the other girl’s for cutting her in line. You can also hear Nepeta mocking her. Desk Nurse scolds them and tells them to stop fighting and wait their turn. 

 

They go quiet after that.

 

After everyone has gone to the bathroom, Desk Nurse announces that it’s time to get ready for bed. There are no clocks and technology is forbidden, so you have no way of knowing what bedtime actually is. Going off of what you know and by how dark it looks outside of the window, it is at least nine. 

 

Everyone piles out to the hallway and a new nurse is there, sitting in the chair at the end of it. The roll-around shelves you saw earlier in the closet are there in the middle of the hall, pressed against the wall. You watched as everyone went along them, grabbing the containers with their names across them. 

 

You grab your own and sit down beside your room door with your back against the wall just like everyone else. Looking at everyone like this, you can see who belongs in which room. Jade, and Nepeta room together in the room diagonal from you, which you can only imagine is messy and fun, like they are. Directly across from you is Vriska and Choppy Haircut, whose container reads “TEREZI” in neat, nurse handwriting. Along the wall of your own room and to the left is Dave and Kanaya. Then, Meenah, in the last room, alone. 

 

You can hear the new nurse say something and a few people get up from where they are, entering their rooms, but it’s not enough to break through your Brain Fog. You’re only broken out of your analyzing when Feferi nudges you gently. 

 

“You can shower first.” She offers with that same sweet smile as always. “It is your first day, after all.” You gave her the best smile you possibly could at the moment and nodded, rising up from where you were. 

 

The bathroom in your room, you quickly discover, was inexplicably small. It’s over all area was roughly the size of six linoleum tiles. Two for the toilet to sit upon, two for the shower, two for the floor. The drain of the shower was built into the floor and the curtain was flimsy and nearly unsupported. The water came out in thick streams and not nearly as warm as you liked it.

 

It was by no means a good shower, but you could feel the water relaxing your muscles slightly. Something about showers made your body feel like steam, floating out and away from yourself; disconnected and glitching out, as if the Brain Fog had become Body Fog. You took rather long showers back home. You always tried to take fast ones, but you would always be stuck in there for roughly an hour. 

 

You don’t get to experience that luxury in here, however. After fifteen minutes at most, there is a loud banging on the door and Feferi’s voice telling you that it’s time to switch. You barely have enough time to rinse the last bit of shampoo from your hair before you turn the water off. You dress into your pajamas at super speed and make your way back out to the hall. You’re just a bit flustered that you were the one everyone was waiting on. 

 

Once the second “group” goes in for showers, you sit there staring at your hairbrush in your hand. You can hear, just barely through the Brain Fog, that the new nurse is chatting with everyone and laughing every so often. You dig your thumb into the plastic bristles of the brush harshly, feeling more hot tears burning in the corners of your eyes.

 

“Rose.” Kanaya’s voice says, sweet and soft. “Are you alright?”

 

You look up, hoping your eyes don’t appear too red. “Yeah. I’m fine. I just-” You clear your throat, embarrassed by how weak and small it sounds. “My mother normally brushes my hair after I shower. She...She does a french braid after.”

 

Kanaya is quiet while you look back down at the brush and swallow around the lump in your throat.

 

“I can do that, if you’d like.” Kanaya reaches and takes the brush gently from your hand. “Come on. Turn around so I can.” She says with a small smile. You comply, holding your head down slightly as Kanaya gently runs the brush through your hair. “Your hair is very pretty, Rose.” She whispers.

 

“Thank you.” You whisper right back.

  
You’re hoping that the tears flowing freely from your eyes will just be mistaken as water from the shower. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a kinda shitty day so i'm hoping that didn't effect the quality of this chapter


	6. turn my legs into spaghetti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rose cries some more and gets poked and prodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight tw for vomit (not really), needles, and a panic attack

The first night was the hardest. 

 

Lights out was right after bathtime and Feferi had already been yawning in anticipation. She settled into her own weak cot, mumbling a goodnight to you. You nodded in the dark, unable to say it back because it was very much  _ not  _ a good night. 

 

The air conditioner kicked on at an even lower temperature during the night. The weak, uncomfortable blanket did nothing to shield you from the cold air, nor did the plastic coated mattress. The doors had to remain cracked open and the sounds of nurse’s chatting and the bright light of the hall made it harder to sleep. But, one thing kept you awake even more than those two factors.

 

You were homesick. 

 

You were exhausted, that much was true, but you just couldn’t sleep in this foreign place. As a young girl, you weren’t very trusting. You stayed glued to your mother, refusing to let go. You also didn’t have many friends. So, the sleepover experience was never something you knew well. Being in this place, smelling of more hospital than home, and feeling the new scratch of the bedsheets kept your brain aching for familiarity and your heart aching for...home.

 

If only you hadn’t gotten sick. If only you could go back to your mother, weep and beg her to take you home; tell her that things will be good now. You will be good now. You would force yourself to be happy if it meant that you could be home with your own bed, your mother, and the sight of cat hair on couches. 

 

“Rose,” Feferi whispered, voice crashing against your ears suddenly. “Are you alright?” 

 

Being suddenly aware of the sound happening around you made you realize that you had been crying; the bad kind of crying, where you try to keep the sobs in your throat, but instead you just choke on them loudly. You sniffled a few times, wiping at the fresh tears. You were so tired of crying by this point.

 

“I-I’m okay. Just a little, little homesick.” You stuttered out. “I’m sorry…”

 

“You’ll be okay.” Feferi mumbled sleepily. 

 

“H-Huh?” You asked. You felt guilty about having not been focusing on her response the first time. 

 

“You’ll be okay…” She mumbled again, trailing off and slipping into quiet snores. 

 

You hiccupped softly, trying to cease your sobs. You sat upright because lying down while crying made your nose and head hurt. The door squeaked open, light flooding into the room even more so. In stepped the nurse from earlier, the one from the hallway chair.

 

“Are you okay?” She whispered, making her way to you. She looked young; she couldn’t have been older than twenty-five. 

 

“I’m okay.” You repeated. She seemed nice, but you really weren’t up for talking with her. You curled in on yourself, hoping she’d get the message.

 

She doesn’t and makes her way over to sit at the foot of your bed. 

“Are you sure?” She asks. “What’s your name?”

 

“Rose.”

 

“Rose. That’s a pretty name.” She smiled at you and made herself comfortable, like she belonged there. “I’m Nurse Calliope, but most of the girls call me Callie.”

 

You nodded, unable to really speak through the lump of your throat. 

 

“It’s your first night here, isn’t it? First nights are always tough. You’re homesick?” She guessed. When you nodded, she hummed in response. “Yeah, I figured. Why are you here?” She asked, but the question is gentle and polite. 

 

“I’m just sad…” You mumbled. 

 

“Well, that shouldn’t be too hard to fix. I believe you can do it. You probably won’t even be here long.” She said, her hands fisting up to make an encouraging gesture. “Then, you’ll be right back home. Just focus on what your doctors tell you, okay?”

 

When you nod again, she pats you on the back and gets up. She asks if you will be okay and leaves you to sleep once you tell her yes. Your tears subsided as you laid back down, but sleep did not come easy.

* * *

There aren’t any clocks in the hospital, but you’re almost positive that when an unknown nurse finally shakes you awake, it is 5:00 a.m. Feferi is still in her bed, fast asleep and you’re still shivering from the cold. No lights are on and your eyes feel like giant bags of sand being hefted upwards.

 

The unknown nurse is hovering over you with a clear, plastic cup in her hand. It has a blue lid on the top, screwed on, and your name scrawled along it in black marker. You mumble something, wondering why you’ve been awoken. She hands you the cup once you sit up.

 

“Fill the cup,” She says, pointing at a line marked on the cup. “Up to here.” She points to the bathroom.

 

While you’re no stranger to these kinds of tests, you don’t enjoy them. Your school was, in blunt terms, a bit racist. So, when random drug testing came around you were always pulled out of classes because of your skin color. So far, you had been tested seven times in one year. Each time was more inconvenient than the last.

 

At this point, you just hope you’re able to fill it on the first try. 

You lug yourself out of the bed and do what was asked of you. When you hand over the now filled cup to the nurse, you’re ready to head back to sleep. She has different plans. She motions for you to follow her out of the room. The hallway is bright in one spot–the nurse’s station–and you squint as you get closer to it.

 

There is a few more nurses in there, as well as a boy who could be no older than eight. He’s smiling and sitting in a chair, kicking his feet back and forth. A nurse has a needle pressed into his skin. Your blood runs cold.

 

You hate needles. Medical ones, that is. You remember getting two shots in your legs as a child and having to be literally dragged by your mother because the pain and shock was so great. Shots terrified you. 

 

You’re plopped down on a chair beside the younger boy. You can feel your head spinning rapidly, or maybe it’s just the room. Your legs are getting that strange jelly, pins and needles feeling you associate with anxiety and your heart is pounding in your ears. You think you may be shaking. The nurse doesn’t notice while prepping the needle to pierce your skin.

 

“We’re just gonna draw some blood.” She informs you, wetting a cotton ball to disinfect the inner corner of your elbow. You feel faint.

 

“I’ve never done that before.” You whisper.

 

“Nervous?” She laughs. When you nod, she laughs again. “Why? He can do it! It’s not too bad.”

 

Your face gets hot, either from embarrassment or panic, you don’t know. She warns you that she’ll stick the needle in and you nod. You vision is blurring. When she pierces your vein, you make the mistake of watching the blood enter the tube. You turn your head away, gagging violently. 

 

The nurse’s laugh. They think you’re hamming it up.

 

When you finishing gagging on absolutely nothing, your head lowers weakly into your chest. Your body is heavy and sweaty. Your vision is so blurred, it’s practically darkening. The nurse pulls the needle out and puts a bandaid on top of the tiny wound. You sit there, unmoving, for a while. 

 

When she drags you back to your room, she seems a bit upset that you haven’t sobered up yet. She places you on the bed and moves two pillows underneath your feet, elevating them. 

 

“Keep them up.” She says, a bit harshly. You nod weakly and watch her leave the room. 

  
You briefly wonder if fainting counts as sleeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been having a kinda tough time lately so i apologize for the wait  
> hope this wasn't too lazy <3


	7. hands on the inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rose meets vriska. (it doesn't go well)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey i'm back
> 
> things are rough for me lately; couldn't find inspo to write. i'm sorry
> 
> MAJOR TW for distasteful "jokes" about incest & rape, and slight TW mentions of self harm

 

Morning comes quickly and loudly. Your legs are still atop the pillows and your lower back hurts from the position. The door is wide open, nurses and girls making chatting aimlessly in the hallway. 

 

You bury your head into the pillow, trying to salvage some sleep. However, the yellow ceiling light fills the room and you’ve never been one who can fall back asleep after seeing light. When you lift your head up, Feferi is finishing her task of making her bed.

 

“Oh, good morning!” She says, noticing you when you stretch and make a soft sound. 

 

“Morning.” You mumble through sleep, forcing your body upwards. Your body is heavy and sluggish as you begin to walk to trash bag filled with your clothes. You grab something fast, not even looking at what you’ve picked. You’re sure if your mother were here she would scold you for dressing so lazily. 

 

_ “You’re such a pretty girl,”  _ She would say.  _ “Why don’t you dress like it?” _

 

You shake your mother from your head and escape to the bathroom to change out of your pajamas. You wonder if your mother is still sad. If she’s sitting at the breakfast bar, sipping her coffee with a solemn expression and heavy heart. You wonder if she also cried herself to sleep last night. 

 

You doubt it. 

 

Feferi is gone from the room once you’re done getting dressed and it makes you just a bit flustered. You feel stupid for thinking Feferi would wait for you. She probably just dragged you around yesterday because the nurse asked her to. The ride on the welcome wagon was over and Feferi wasn’t obligated to hang around you. It made you a bit sad, though. You wanted to have a friend. 

 

You make your bed as precisely as possible, trying to stall. You’re embarrassed about being the last to wake and even more embarrassed by the rejection. Your body moves in slow motion, placing blankets and pillows down as if they’re glass. You want to stay in bed all day, but you also want to get better. So, you force yourself to leave the room and make your way to the commons. 

 

When you walk into the commons, everyone is crowded around the whiteboard you spotted the other day. There is a new Desk Nurse and she’s setting a small cart of different small medical tools, getting ready to check vitals. You approach the small clump of people and stand on your toes, trying to get a glimpse of what their doing. Jade nudges you as she turns to leave, places a green marker in your hand. 

 

“We write down our daily goals.” She tells you. You nod dumbly.

 

You try to rack your brain for something to write. You don’t really have any goals. Your brain is too foggy in this place. You don’t feel real and you none of your thoughts make sense. The crowd around you starts to fade as they finish up writing until you’re the only one standing there. You bite your lip and uncap the marker, leaning close to the board to try and shield what you decide to write.

 

_ I want to feel happy. _

 

Everyone is busy with their own private conversations as you place the cap back onto the marker. You feel too embarrassed to walk over to the small group with Feferi, so you choose to sit on the floor in front of the dry erase board. You curl into yourself, shrinking as much as you possibly can while the nurse calls out names to check vitals. 

 

You’re busying yourself by drawing invisible pictures on the cold linoleum with your finger when you feel someone slid over and bump your leg. When you look up, Vriska and Terezi are sitting before you; the blonde grins like a shark and has Meenah’s doll in her hands whilst Terezi organizes a box of markers. 

 

“So,” Vriska speaks up. “What are you in for?” 

 

You hesitate for a moment. You know you shouldn’t be embarrassed. Everyone was here for their own issues, so why hide? Still, you didn’t know this girl and you didn’t really want to share. 

 

“Well?” She asks, a bit more demanding.

 

“Uh...I’m.” You cough once. “I’m sad, I guess…” You rub your arm self-consciously and Vriska reaches forward to shove your sweater sleeve up, revealing scars. 

 

“You cut yourself?”

 

“Y-Yeah…”

 

“Me too!” Her tone sounds happy, excited. She lifts up her own sleeves. “They’re healed now, but I used to have them all over.” 

 

Before you can say anything, another nurse comes in the doorway and calls Dave over for therapy. He’s wearing the same baggy hoodie from the previous day and he looks tired as ever. Dave nods and starts to gather his things. Vriska giggles and turns around to face him. 

“Hey, Dave.” She says, not shouting, but definitely loud enough for the few of us around her to hear. “Want to take the doll?” She asks sarcastically. 

 

“Fuck off.”

 

“I just think it’d be a lot easier to demonstrate what happened.” 

 

Terezi snaps closed the marker box and narrows her eyes at the other girl. “Vriska, stop it.” She scolds through clenched teeth. 

 

“Listen to your girlfriend, Serket.” Dave mumbles as his passes by quickly, practically racing out of the room. Vriska laughs and rolls her eyes while Terezi slaps her on the arm gently. 

 

“What was that about?” You ask, feeling uncomfortable from the exchange. 

 

“It’s nothing.” Terezi tells you.

 

“Hey, now, just because she’s new doesn’t mean we should keep secrets from her.” Vriska says with a small “tsk” sound. Terezi sighs and turns to face her back to Vriska. 

 

“Everyone’s here for different reasons.” Vriska says, leaning closer to you. She points over to the other girls. “Some with eating disorders, some with depression, some with suicide attempts. But, Dave is...special.” She says, smirking once more. 

 

You look at her, expecting more. Instead, she holds up the doll and roughly shoves the middle finger on her opposite hand underneath the skirt. You feel your stomach bubble slightly as the realisation dawns on you and Vriska laughs softly, throwing the doll down. 

 

“That’s awful. Why..?” You can’t form a good response and your mouth stays open slightly. 

 

Vriska shrugs and leans against Terezi’s back. “Dunno. Guess Dave’s brother just loved him too much.” She says before laughing again. She stops once Terezi moves, causing Vriska to nearly slam her head on the floor. “What the fuck is wrong with you!?”

 

“That’s not funny, Vriska.” Terezi says, grabbing her marker box. 

 

“Well, maybe you just don’t have a sense of humor.” Vriska says crossing her arms. Terezi turns on her heels and storms off. Vriska jumps up to go after her almost immediately. 

 

You look at the doll lying on the floor, hair tossed in a mess and skirt still halfway up from the rough insertion. You brush back her hair gently and tug her skirt back down before facing the wall and letting out a breath. 

 

You wanted to go home. 


	8. intermisson i: dave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> filler and dialogue heavy; dave argues with his psychologist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> been blocked for months. can't write much of anything, hopefully this short bit is a headway to progress.

“How are you doing today, Dave?” Dr. Scratch asked, leaning forward and resting his elbows atop his knees. 

“I’m fine. Tired.”

The older man nodded, humming softly. “Didn’t sleep well?” He asked, clicking the pen in his hand and holding it above a small journal, no doubt filled with information from Dave’s earlier sessions. Dave squinted suspiciously and wore an expression of annoyance.

“I slept fine.” He said, emphasizing his words. 

“You told me once you had nightmares. Do you still have them?” He asked, jotting down something on the page. 

Dave flicked the small rake sitting in a miniature zen garden. “No, I don’t.”

Doctor Scratch looked at the boy for a moment, silent. “Calliope told me you left your room at three this morning. Why?”

“I was thirsty.” Dave answered quickly. “Is that a crime?”

“No.” Dr. Scratch said, shaking his head. “Do you normally have trouble staying asleep? Do you wake up thirsty often?”

“I said I’ve been sleeping fine. Are you deaf?” Dave asked, sharp.

“Just thorough.” He said, shaking his head again. “I think I’m going to try to see how you react to a stronger sleeping aid.” He said, jotting down a prescription. “Is that okay with you?”

“I don’t care. That’s...fine.” 

The older man smiled. “Maybe you’ll sleep better.” Dave didn’t respond. “Anything else you want to mention?”

“I want to leave.” Dave said quickly. “Next week, if I could.”

“I’m sorry, Dave. I don’t...think that’s possible.”

“I’ve been here for months! Please! I-I’ve done everything you’ve asked.” Dave begged.

“It’s not that simple. You’re still unwell.” 

“I’m fine! I-I’m over it, I am! I want to go home! I want to see my friends, my boyfriend. I’m tired of being here!” 

“I’ll think about it.” Doctor Scratch said after a few beats of silence.

“...You will?”

“Yes. I’ll...see how you do on the new medicine and get back to you.”

“Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“You’re welcome, Dave. Now, get to breakfast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> been feelin increasingly awful these months, give me love pls


End file.
